This morning the kids pulled out the Barbie and Ken dolls to play
with. The almost-two year old was frustrated because he found a dress he
liked, but it wouldn't fit on his Ken doll he'd picked out. Trying to
promote my feminist values, I wanted to choose my words carefully.
"That dress is too small for your doll. You'll have to find something bigger."
But
after repeatedly picking out "girl clothes" for his Ken to wear, I
found myself finally saying, "No, that dress only fits a girl doll. You
need to find some boy clothes." As true as it was for the situation, I
hated saying that. I hate saying something is only for a girl and
something else is only for a boy. Specifically when talking about my
daughter, I want her to believe that it doesn't matter what you wear or
what you want to play with.
So, it got me thinking.
Do sexually ambiguous dolls exist? Are there dolls out there that,
depending on how a child styles them, they could be either a boy or a
girl. I'm envisioning a young face with no make-up and no hair. The
child can pick out a "wig" and there would be girlish clothes and boyish
clothes to choose from to form an outfit that's feminine or masculine
or somewhere in between.
Dolls are almost never given a
penis or a vagina anyway. Why not let the kids decide who they're
playing with? Why set so many limitations?
I didn't
find anything on the internet, but if anyone sees anything, let me
know. I would love to create a prototype, but I don't sew, I don't have
any money, and I wouldn't know where to begin in creating something like
this. But I do think it's a million dollar idea! Child-gender issues are only getting hotter!
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Friday, December 13, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
Lay Off Barbie Already!
Barbie dolls are always getting shit on. People just love to make "real" versions of her and compare her to normal women like this site about eating disorders. Apparently playing with Barbies makes young girls feel bad about their body image. Apparently they've done studies and tests and Barbies are controlling the minds of tweens and younger!
Growing up, I loved playing with Barbies. I had many, many Barbie dolls and lots and lots of clothes. My friends and I had so much fun and would play for hours. Not once did Barbie make me want to diet. Not once did Barbie make me think I was fat. She was just a toy that I played with. Look at some of the other dolls out there today compared to Barbie.
They all look deformed. At the top we have World Barbies and then at the far right, a more traditional looking Barbie. At the bottom we have Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls. At least Barbie has a friendly face and doesn't look like she's got an attitude problem.
Cabbage Patch kids don't look like real kids. Not all of the Disney princesses are realistic looking either. Lalaloopsy dolls are pretty freaky looking. Polly Pocket looks kind of normal, but the eyes, head, and feet look a little too big compared to the body.
The only realistic dolls I could find were ones of babies. Unrealistic looking toys are what children play with. Remember all that fake, plastic food we used to pretend to cook and eat? It hasn't gotten any more realistic looking. Maybe kids would eat more vegetables if they had realistic fake salad to play with?
Barbie isn't the problem. Barbie isn't turning our little girls into anorexics. It starts with moms and dads. Moms and dads should promote a healthy lifestyle in front of their kids and exhibit healthy eating and exercise habits. They should also watch what they say around their kids regarding dieting and poor body image. I hate it when Bob comments on other people's weight or appearance on TV. I don't want Tesla to grow up hearing that message from her parents. She doesn't know he's making a (rude) joke or being sarcastic.
Children hear things and internalize it without fully knowing what it means at the time. I was babysitting a girl, about 10, one summer and the song Short Skirt Long Jacket by Cake was really popular. She was watching the music video and she said to me, Hey I should be taking notes. She wasn't kidding. I was in high school at the time and didn't think to explain to her that one song does not define what every man on the planet thinks is sexy and shouldn't define how she feels about herself. Christ, I was still trying to figure that out for myself!
But I think kids with high self-esteem are going to be less affected by pop songs and sexualized dolls and whatever else demonic that's out there because they like who they are. One of the many jobs of parents is to help their kids feel confident and good about themselves and promote good health.
I like what Barbie promotes. She doesn't wear heavy make-up. She's well traveled and very adventurous. She loves girly things like clothes and hair, but she also very athletic and plays a wide range of sports. She's a professional, dabbling in medicine, teaching, and cooking. She loves animals. On top of it all, she happens to be thin and has ties to royalty.
The Bratz dolls "have a passion for fashion" and the Monster High dolls are freaky looking high school students that are actually monsters and live among humans? I know a 7 year old that plays with these dolls. That seems way more inappropriate than Barbie in my opinion.
If a little girl doesn't want to become Barbie, she'll probably wish she was a Bratz doll, or a Monster High doll, or a Polly Pocket, or a Strawberry Shortcake, or a princess, or a fairy, or a mermaid, or a witch at Hogwarts... I remember wishing and wishing that I could grow up and be a boy. I wanted to look like a boy and I wished for boy parts. I'm not sure what got fucked up in my childhood to make me think that way, but it worked itself out by puberty. Today I am proud to be a woman and I don't dream of having a sex change and my body image is totally normal. No eating disorders or cross dressing for me!
A boy at my daycare wants to be like The Hulk. Oh no! What if he grows up wanting to be a body builder?! How will he feel when he realizes it's unlikely he'll ever be that muscular and tall and green? What if he takes steroids to achieve his desired results? Ban all Superhero toys! Our boys' body images are at stake!
So stupid right?
Growing up, I loved playing with Barbies. I had many, many Barbie dolls and lots and lots of clothes. My friends and I had so much fun and would play for hours. Not once did Barbie make me want to diet. Not once did Barbie make me think I was fat. She was just a toy that I played with. Look at some of the other dolls out there today compared to Barbie.
 |
| Barbie, Bratz, and Monster High |
They all look deformed. At the top we have World Barbies and then at the far right, a more traditional looking Barbie. At the bottom we have Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls. At least Barbie has a friendly face and doesn't look like she's got an attitude problem.
Cabbage Patch kids don't look like real kids. Not all of the Disney princesses are realistic looking either. Lalaloopsy dolls are pretty freaky looking. Polly Pocket looks kind of normal, but the eyes, head, and feet look a little too big compared to the body.
 |
| Lalaloopsy Dolls |
The only realistic dolls I could find were ones of babies. Unrealistic looking toys are what children play with. Remember all that fake, plastic food we used to pretend to cook and eat? It hasn't gotten any more realistic looking. Maybe kids would eat more vegetables if they had realistic fake salad to play with?
Barbie isn't the problem. Barbie isn't turning our little girls into anorexics. It starts with moms and dads. Moms and dads should promote a healthy lifestyle in front of their kids and exhibit healthy eating and exercise habits. They should also watch what they say around their kids regarding dieting and poor body image. I hate it when Bob comments on other people's weight or appearance on TV. I don't want Tesla to grow up hearing that message from her parents. She doesn't know he's making a (rude) joke or being sarcastic.
Children hear things and internalize it without fully knowing what it means at the time. I was babysitting a girl, about 10, one summer and the song Short Skirt Long Jacket by Cake was really popular. She was watching the music video and she said to me, Hey I should be taking notes. She wasn't kidding. I was in high school at the time and didn't think to explain to her that one song does not define what every man on the planet thinks is sexy and shouldn't define how she feels about herself. Christ, I was still trying to figure that out for myself!
But I think kids with high self-esteem are going to be less affected by pop songs and sexualized dolls and whatever else demonic that's out there because they like who they are. One of the many jobs of parents is to help their kids feel confident and good about themselves and promote good health.
I like what Barbie promotes. She doesn't wear heavy make-up. She's well traveled and very adventurous. She loves girly things like clothes and hair, but she also very athletic and plays a wide range of sports. She's a professional, dabbling in medicine, teaching, and cooking. She loves animals. On top of it all, she happens to be thin and has ties to royalty.
The Bratz dolls "have a passion for fashion" and the Monster High dolls are freaky looking high school students that are actually monsters and live among humans? I know a 7 year old that plays with these dolls. That seems way more inappropriate than Barbie in my opinion.
If a little girl doesn't want to become Barbie, she'll probably wish she was a Bratz doll, or a Monster High doll, or a Polly Pocket, or a Strawberry Shortcake, or a princess, or a fairy, or a mermaid, or a witch at Hogwarts... I remember wishing and wishing that I could grow up and be a boy. I wanted to look like a boy and I wished for boy parts. I'm not sure what got fucked up in my childhood to make me think that way, but it worked itself out by puberty. Today I am proud to be a woman and I don't dream of having a sex change and my body image is totally normal. No eating disorders or cross dressing for me!
A boy at my daycare wants to be like The Hulk. Oh no! What if he grows up wanting to be a body builder?! How will he feel when he realizes it's unlikely he'll ever be that muscular and tall and green? What if he takes steroids to achieve his desired results? Ban all Superhero toys! Our boys' body images are at stake!
So stupid right?
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Mother Who Regretted Having Kids
Maybe it's because I'm off living in Ma-Ma Land, but I keep seeing references to this article a woman wrote about how she regrets having children and how they're the biggest mistake of her life. You can read the original article by Isabella Dutton here at the Mail Online.
Obviously making such a bold statement is going to draw a crowd and evoke some powerful emotions, so here's my two cents.
To fully understand, you need to read Dutton's article, so just go and do that now if you haven't click on the link already. Some people are calling her selfish and some people are calling her brave. I think Dutton is neither, (though it does take guts to publish an article like that!)
After reading the article I thought, here is a woman who has never stood up for herself. Here is a woman who has never followed her dreams and who has never done anything in her life to make herself happy. For some reason this woman felt the need to sacrifice her life for other people's lives and now 3 decades later she's finally speaking up. Too little too late lady.
You can't devote your life to your family and then at the end complain about how you never got to do the things you always wanted to do. You can't complain about how other people influenced your life choices so much so that you felt you had no choices. The only person holding a gun to Isabella Dutton's head was Dutton herself.
I love children and I love my daughter. She brings me joy and spending time with her is fun for me. My daycare kids are my other little side family. They make me laugh and taking care of them is a labor of love as well. Kids are also frustratingly, obnoxious bugs who drive me barking mad and make me want to squish them, but I do love them and I'm glad they're here on Earth. I would never trade them in for a quiet day at the seaside, or a peaceful stroll through a park.
Children are not for everyone. I deeply respect people who say they don't want children and follow through with it because they are making the best choice for them and the world. To say you don't want children and then marry a man who does and give him children to make him happy is outrageous! Don't marry someone who has different life goals from you!
Dutton's life was compromised, not by her children, but by her own decisions. She has every right to talk about it, write about it, and share her story so maybe some other self-pitying woman doesn't make the same mistakes as her, but at what cost to her children? They are people with feelings and a life to lead too. Though I'm sure it's never been a secret how Dutton truly feels about her children. She claims they never noticed her coolness toward them, but children are like spiders and definitely noticed over the years due to their child-like spidey-senses.
Even in her golden years, Dutton cares for her adult daughter with MS. This lady can't catch a break and she still isn't doing anything to empower herself. I'm so glad I'm opinionated and headstrong and determined to create my own destiny. When I encounter problems in my life I seek ways to solve or eliminate those problems instead of finding ways to work around them. There's a time to fight and a time to bow down. When making a decision that's going to affect the rest of your life you need to fight for what you believe in. Your best advocate is yourself.
Obviously making such a bold statement is going to draw a crowd and evoke some powerful emotions, so here's my two cents.
To fully understand, you need to read Dutton's article, so just go and do that now if you haven't click on the link already. Some people are calling her selfish and some people are calling her brave. I think Dutton is neither, (though it does take guts to publish an article like that!)
After reading the article I thought, here is a woman who has never stood up for herself. Here is a woman who has never followed her dreams and who has never done anything in her life to make herself happy. For some reason this woman felt the need to sacrifice her life for other people's lives and now 3 decades later she's finally speaking up. Too little too late lady.
You can't devote your life to your family and then at the end complain about how you never got to do the things you always wanted to do. You can't complain about how other people influenced your life choices so much so that you felt you had no choices. The only person holding a gun to Isabella Dutton's head was Dutton herself.
I love children and I love my daughter. She brings me joy and spending time with her is fun for me. My daycare kids are my other little side family. They make me laugh and taking care of them is a labor of love as well. Kids are also frustratingly, obnoxious bugs who drive me barking mad and make me want to squish them, but I do love them and I'm glad they're here on Earth. I would never trade them in for a quiet day at the seaside, or a peaceful stroll through a park.
Children are not for everyone. I deeply respect people who say they don't want children and follow through with it because they are making the best choice for them and the world. To say you don't want children and then marry a man who does and give him children to make him happy is outrageous! Don't marry someone who has different life goals from you!
Dutton's life was compromised, not by her children, but by her own decisions. She has every right to talk about it, write about it, and share her story so maybe some other self-pitying woman doesn't make the same mistakes as her, but at what cost to her children? They are people with feelings and a life to lead too. Though I'm sure it's never been a secret how Dutton truly feels about her children. She claims they never noticed her coolness toward them, but children are like spiders and definitely noticed over the years due to their child-like spidey-senses.
Even in her golden years, Dutton cares for her adult daughter with MS. This lady can't catch a break and she still isn't doing anything to empower herself. I'm so glad I'm opinionated and headstrong and determined to create my own destiny. When I encounter problems in my life I seek ways to solve or eliminate those problems instead of finding ways to work around them. There's a time to fight and a time to bow down. When making a decision that's going to affect the rest of your life you need to fight for what you believe in. Your best advocate is yourself.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Gender Inequality
There's this site I like that I've mentioned before, Embrace The Chaos on MSN. She did a blurb about the never-ending "mommy wars" and gender inequality, gender egalitarianism, and feminism. I posted a comment about my current situation and got a response I didn't like.
Bob, who is 7 years older than I am and has a decade more work experience than I do has a B.A. English and an Administrative Professional diploma. His education is much more broad and those skills are all easily transferable. His earning potential is greater than mine, not because he has a penis, but because he is better educated.
Bob pays all the bills because Bob makes all he money. If I was still working at CBC making $25 an hour, Bob would be the stay at home Dad, cleaning the house, and I would pay all the bills.
When it comes to our child though, as soon as Bob walks in the door, he's got his Dad hat on and he's ready to take care of her. At the end of the day, that's what matters most to me. We're both raising our baby the best we can and it doesn't matter who works and who cleans, it just needs to get done and we've split it up in a way we both agree on. That's equality.
I still don't think there's a gender gap. My education, Media Production, is extremely specific, and with my 3 years experience working in television news broadcast, there's not much else I can do besides freelance. If I were to go out and try to get a job, it would be a minimum wage job because that's pretty much all I'm qualified to do at this point in my life.Anadam said in reply to Sara...Your comment would make more sense if they both had equal levels of education. By her own admission, her boyfriend is more educated than she is. That in itself can explain a disparity in earning potential. I'm not suggesting that there isn't a gender gap, there definitely is, but there is more at play here than just that.
Bob, who is 7 years older than I am and has a decade more work experience than I do has a B.A. English and an Administrative Professional diploma. His education is much more broad and those skills are all easily transferable. His earning potential is greater than mine, not because he has a penis, but because he is better educated.
Bob pays all the bills because Bob makes all he money. If I was still working at CBC making $25 an hour, Bob would be the stay at home Dad, cleaning the house, and I would pay all the bills.
When it comes to our child though, as soon as Bob walks in the door, he's got his Dad hat on and he's ready to take care of her. At the end of the day, that's what matters most to me. We're both raising our baby the best we can and it doesn't matter who works and who cleans, it just needs to get done and we've split it up in a way we both agree on. That's equality.
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After 6 months, I started a home daycare so I could make money and stay home with my baby. I don't even net a thousand dollars a month, but we don't have to pay for childcare, we don't need a second car, and a lot of stuff that I bought for the daycare, my daughter will be able to use one day and I get to write it off.
I'm not sure if I "have it all" because my wardrobe consists of over-sized shirts and sweat pants, and I never get to leave the house anymore, but this is our life now and we're just trying to make ends meet. I do all the cooking and cleaning and my boyfriend pays all the bills. It's just how we decided to do things and it has nothing to do with gender egalitarianism or feminism or anything like that. People read too much into that stuff.