Thursday, January 9, 2014


I have been trying very hard to find a paleo bread recipe to make a damn sandwich and I keep failing. I have thrown out half a dozen recipes already, straight from the oven directly to the garbage. They all taste so salty! And the coconut flour sometimes has an odd flavour. The almond flour often burns. Sometimes the dough isn't binding. Ugh, such a hassle! I just want a recipe to come out right for a change!

I have one recipe that always works for me, but it's a banana bread recipe, so it's on the sweeter, softer side and not conducive to sandwich making. I've always sucked at making normal bread and now I suck at making paleo bread too. The difference is that the ingredients are now more expensive and it's that much more infuriating when they get wasted. At least back in the day I was able to make biscuits or a simple quick bread with wheat flour.

I've even tried to adapt a normal recipe into a paleo recipe, but both times that was a disaster too. Very discouraging. I'm so close to going out and buying some gluten-free bread just to get over this odd obsession with making a sandwich. I don't even like sandwiches. I've never liked them. I don't know what's with me. I mean, certain sandwiches are okay, but I've never craved one before like I have been recently. It's so weird. It won't go away! It must be satisfied!!

There are SO many paleo "bread" recipes. Sifting through them is horrible. I've looked through at least 100 recipes. It's overwhelming. There are too many recipes in my bookmark menu and in multiple windows on multiple tabs. I'm trying to compare recipes and comments and I don't have all the ingredients I need or I lose the damn recipe by closing the tab by accident then I don't know where to find it because I've looked at too many recipes already. It's just a blur.

Maybe I'll go to Chapters and pick up a paleo recipe book or two. You know, recipes written by real chefs and bakers who actually know about paleo baking, and not some know-it-all internet person who only exists on the internet and keeps a food blog. You know, the kind of food blog where you just want to get to the damn recipe but you have to scroll through all this anecdotal crap and a slew of artistic pictures of them carefully and artfully mixing each ingredient and then of course several final products shots that all look the same. (I don't care about your journey! Get to the damn recipe)

And the 200 comments below all say the exact same thing: "Sounds yummy! Can't wait to try it!" No constructive feedback whatsoever. No opinions from people who actually made the bread and ate it.

Yes, I'm bitter and this is gone on too long, but I needed to rant.

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